Well.. over 6 months in, and July in all aspects of game was basically my worst month since I’ve started.
It’s the first month this year that I didn’t go on a single date.
It’s also the first month this year that I didn’t even really make out with chick.
I didn’t get any notches, and probably got the least amount of phone numbers this month than I have in any of the past few months…
I feel like I’ve moving backwards instead of forward.
I don’t even have any prospects right now, really…. what the hell is going on?
It’s not like I haven’t been approaching. I’ve definitely approached over 100 sets this month probably. No different than previous months really. Sets haven’t been hooking as much/often as they normally do for me though, it seems like.
I think part of it is, I’m in my head a lot more now. After blowing so many opportunities early in the year (honestly, if I had tight game, my notch count this year would easily be in the double digits – that’s how many opportunities I’ve blown this year). After blowing so many opportunities early in the year, I cranked out the studying more, I read Mystery Method, watched the whole first season of The Pick Up Artist (I had never seen it – I don’t watch reality TV, or really much TV at all for that matter), I developed routines, and I went out and approached.
Am, I going backwards?
To be honest, even though I approached probably about the same amount of girls as I normally do in month, there were some things I didn’t do.
I didn’t touch girls as much – not much kino.
I didn’t go for any kisses – no kiss closes.
And, I went for numbers a lot less – less number closes.
Why?
I honestly don’t know. But, if I had to guess, I’d say I was in my head a lot more, worrying a lot more about “not telegraphing too much interested” or “trying to make her chase me” and shit like that. I still don’t have my push/pull game down very well at all. I’m either pushing too much or pulling too much.
In past months, I’ve been overally aggressive, grabbing and touching chicks earlier than some of them were ready for, going for kisses, numbers and even bangs without having much comfort and getting a lot of rejection at those stages (not a lot of rejections on the numbers, just a lot of flakes though). So, this month, I toned all that back, and really didn’t go for much of them at all….
I just approached girls, joked around with them and left. Without showing much interest at all, at least not the aggressive interest that I’m used to showing.
Even my approaches, I chilled out on shit. Mystery made a big deal about approaching sets that are walking toward you when you are walking toward them, so I did less of that. Although looking back on it, I’ve had success with those sets – Butterface and February Fling were both sets like that. February Fling slowed down and let me approach her and I turned around and walked with her for a short time, before excusing myself and getting her number. Butterface, I just got her whole set (4 of them) to stop in the middle of street and talk to us.
In the past, I’d actually chase girls down in order to approach them (my intent was clear), I did less of that in July, being a lot more calculated. In the past, I’d make it clear who my target was very early on into the set, but in July, I spent more time trying to engage the whole set, and a lot of times lost my target’s interest, because her friend would seem more into me than she did.
I don’t know man. I feel like my game was way off in July. I feel like I didn’t do much well at all. I probably got as many numbers the whole month as I’d usually get in a night. Should I go back to collecting numbers like they’re candy? I mean, honestly, just collecting numbers is pretty easy. But, most of them will turn out to be flaky.
I’m just at a point where I feel lost.
I don’t even know what I’m doing. I know where I want to be, but I feel lost about how to get there.
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Have you heard of “60 years of Challenge”? This guys material is the closest to how normal people run game that currently exists in the community definitely check that out. Its the only community ebook that I’ll ever recommend aswell. Your basically a semi-natural trying to run game like a guy that was clueless before finding “game” and your current malaise is the result. You need to dump all the game literature you have except “Bang” and return to basics, to the way you used to do things and then sharpen those skills. You don’t need routines or any canned material your already a cool guy that just needs to sharpen
the areas that you’re already competent at. Still smh@ people who take Mystery Method seriously lol, that shit is poison for a guy like you.
pretty much what i was going to say. throw out everything except 1 system (Bang) and work on the basics. also, don’t approach sets that have more than 2 people. keep it very simple. fewer cockblock opportunities, and it allows you to really work on basic shit.
Naw, I’ve never heard of “60 Years of Challenge”. I’ll have to check that out.
Yeah, I think the one thing I did get out of Mystery Method was to realize that sometimes I do/will need to spend a little more time in comfort and working on that.
Was just reading through that “60 Years of Challenge” Ebook.
I got to the part about opening it said this:
“I dropped all of the information on opening long ago. The approach angles, the 25 points, having 10
different openers. I just say whatever comes into my head in the moment. And then I trust that I will
figure out the right course of action based on her initial reaction to me.
Just say anything. This makes starting conversations fun. It’s supposed to be fun. It’s supposed to be
easy.”
That’s a good point. That’s basically how I approached opening before I read Mystery Method. Than I read Mystery Method and I start worrying about shit like telegraphing too much interest early on and shit like that.
“Than I read Mystery Method and I start worrying about shit like telegraphing too much interest early on and shit like that”
That what I meant about MM been poison for guys like you. MM is meant for 25 year old and older virgins with very limited experience with women that need to be told EXACTLY what to do at every stage, I think Assanova’s already made this point. For a semi-natural like you that’s already socially calibrated and already knows how to socialise MM’s use is near redundant, MM basically teaches you how to be social not how to get laid. Like everyone’s already said, stick to the basics, trust your INSTINCTS and INTUITION, you already know to get laid you just need to be more consistent that’s all. And the one more thing from my point of view instead of opening over 10sets a night and getting numbers that go nowhere why not open 4/5 sets pick one you really like stick with her all night if you can’t bang the same night get her number and set up a guaranteed date, isn’t that better than chasing leads that amount to nothing? think about it.
Welcome to the wall…Will you climb over it, or will it defeat you?
Keep your head up and go over some game tape, work on your aloofness, be a little more aggressive with girls (its what they want; better to put a girl off with overaggressiveness than lose the chance by not moving quick enough), recalibrate the fundamentals, hang out with your boys without going out and opening sets.
Everybody hits the wall eventually. I got over mine by stepping back, reasseing my fundamentals, putting all of the ‘game’ out of my head for a few weeks and going up north and just focusing on having a good time without the goal of meeting women.
Your goal should never be to go out and number crunch or makeout with x amount of girls; it should be to have a good time, but with your game at such a level that if you meet a girl you like then you know how to act.
Less than a month after I hit the wall I met a really cute girl I ended up dating on and off for ten months who was a top 3 lay I’ve ever had.
I guess there’s bound to be a wall in everything you set out to do.
If it was easy, everybody would do it.
It’s just like working out. Sometimes you have off days, or in this case, off months. But you’re making progress in the long run. Step back and analyze what you’ve been doing different. Maybe you’re just thinking different and this is being reflected in your frame.
This is why I had to step back and set up very specific goals for myself. I started driving myself crazy with different methods of game, routines and ideas. You really need to pick something and refine it. Like Black Rebel said above, you need to just go and have a good time.
July has been a crazy month for me too. I’ve had 6 first dates that didn’t lead to anything. Only one of them is still a propect.
I’ve said before how I didn’t think Mystery Method was useful. That stuff is definitely not what you need.
Its also possible that you are not really moving backwards, but are just aware of what’s going on. In the past you didn’t care if you got a chick or not, so you didn’t think about. Now every chick you don’t bang is like a failure.
6 dates is pretty good for one month.
With only one bang, it doesn’t seem that good. Its an improvement and not bad for mostly day game, but I still have ways to go.
Keep going WW. Keep it fun. Your Game is going to turn a corner soon, and it’s going happen because of everything you are learning right now when times are tough.
if i may offer my two cents.
First: back to basics.
When i veer off the basics, such as trying for first night sex, I fail. I have gotten so spoiled with 3rd night sex; I decided to push the issue.
Also, i say things now, which are not game approved.
I have been asking many women “if they want to see me again” i realize i have gotten impatient, and sloppy. also a little spoiled- i know i run tight game, and i know i can fuck by date 3- but that made me push it to date 2, because i got zealous- date 2 sex worked ok, so i am now pushing for date 1- but the results suck.
For you, here is what i would say:
1-get those numbers. back to basics after all.
2- Don’t focus (so much) on counting notches.
As you see, i say stupid shit to women; i crash and burn sometimes on purpose- the reason?
i am pushing the envelope, because i can! i now know for a fact- i can fuck a new woman every single week- if i put the work in.
When you know there is always another woman to fuck, you care less about the one you are chasing- caring less is good, sloppy is bad.
That is thing to guard against- sloppiness, impatience, laziness.
you don’t want the numbers, because you know it requires work to weed though the flakes, but as men, we need to work.
Still using Mystery Method? Although it isn’t all bad, you probably should read this:
http://www.puahate.com/showthread.php?t=6623
You make some good points, especially about the fact that this stuff only really works in crowded bars, and you seem weird doing it in other places. I mean, I got that vibe from watching the show, The Pick Up Artist, when the guys were on bridge walking up to girls using the same opinion openers they use in nightclubs, I was like “what the fuck are they doing?” It just seemed silly.
I think, and I’ve said this before, the biggest thing I got from Mystery Method was the part that says, “the game is played in comfort”. I think that stuck with me and that’s the biggest thing I should take away from it, personally.
you read a lot of stuff about game, and some of it does lead to saturation. i spent a lot of time branching out of the 2-3 types of venues where I have always had success. I did okay…but I’ve come full circle to back to hunting to places that I’ve naturally done well at, gotten that positive feedback. it’s not always a problem. we’re taught in game to think that “everything we know/think/feel is wrong and has to be unlearned”….but some of that stuff, some of that instinct is born of successes we had in the past when we didn’t know shit about game, but naturally did well in a certain pick-up.
the key is to build on that and not lose some of whatever natural instincts you’ve gained about women.
I mean, we all know a slut when we see one right? you can just spot one. that’s an example of how not everything we thnk about men/women/game being wrong.
Very true.
This is why I’ve done a lot of posting old stories lately. I’ve been trying to do some reflection and thinking about what and where I’ve naturally done shit right and what I’ve done wrong in the past….
That reflection added in with game theory and shit that I now know has told me a lot about myself….
At the end of the day, the best learning is through experience not reading. Reading can only add to and help you identify and further explain your experience. The guys that are “naturals” in essence are usually guys who just started young… many of them even had somebody to learn from to some extent – a family member or role model of some sort who did well with women…
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