I haven’t been a very good boy scout lately. I haven’t been too prepared in my game. I’ve just been winging shit. I’ll see a cute chick and just go up and say something. No default lines, no openers. Sometimes, I’m witty enough to come up with a real good situational opener, but most of the time, I’m just defaulting to shit like, “Hey, what are you about to get into?” ”Where y’all going?” or “How are y’all doing tonight?”
Obviously, there has to be better default openers out there, that not just every joe schmo can walk up and start a conversation with. I need to come up with something better.
I also need to work on silly answers to common questions, like I mentioned in my text message post, I have one good one for when a girl asks me what I’ve been up to, but what about all of the other questions girls tend to always ask.
I also need to work on responses for common shit tests. I think Roissy’s agree and amplify advice is great here. It’s funny, because if I’m in a silly, assholish, sarcastic mood, I agree and amplify to bullshit questions naturally, but it’s not something I always do. Obviously, if I just keep that in mind, I could do better with shit tests.
But, most importantly, I need to have my date ideas better prepared. I used to have a solid first date spot, it was a bar that had a reverse happy hour every weekday evening, and it was real close to my apartment.
But, since then I moved. Now, every time I talk to a girl on the phone or text and I want to ask her out, I ask her out without any idea of where we’re going or what we’re going to do… it usually winds up like this… “Hey, let’s go do something Thursday night?”
“Okay, sounds good… where we going?”
“I’ll hit you up and let you know.”
Then, I’ve been going in and researching which places have good drink specials that night and scrambling at the last minute to send them a text the day of…. “Meet me at such and such bar at 9:30″. This has worked out fine with a few chicks, but it’s also garnered a lot of flakes and I feel like it’s not the best way to go about it. So, I’m thinking, I need to do some research and find some solid spots with drink specials, even if that means a different place for everyday of the week and then have backup spots too, and put all this data in a spreadsheet or something. That way if a chick is free Wednesday night, I just have to look at my shit and be like alright let’s go to this place on Wednesday and have the plan set-up then.
I also need to come up with better 2nd and 3rd date ideas… first dates are easy, but it gets tougher after that. With Crush, we went on 8 dates and other than the movie date that was her idea, I was pretty much scrambling for random ideas last minute in order to just do something with her.
There’s a lot of tightening up my game could use. I got into this shit without much reading about game or anything. I’m not one of those guys that sat up and read as much books on game and women as he could for 6 months before applying anything. Nope, quite the opposite. I just thrust myself out there and started approaching without any idea of what I was doing right or wrong – figured action is better than no action. Then, I read Bang, and started reading Roissy and Roosh and some of these other blogs, but I thrust myself into the fire first, and I’ve learned a lot.
I need to buckle down and better prepare myself.
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Why don’t you start casual relationships with 5s, so that there are always a couple of fuck opportunities available.
Your real problem is the lack of a plan B for fucking.
A 5 wouldn’t hold my interest past one night.
Not worth the effort of a casual relationship.
What if she just wants to fuck a couple of times per week and cuddle afterwards.. no real strings or tests.
That could work, but we’re talking about an easy lay the first time around.. .I’m not jumping thru hoops to fuck a 5. And, I would still lose interest fairly quickly, so it probably wouldn’t last longer than a month..
Her: ‘Sounds good, where are we going?’
You: ‘There’s a nice little drink spot at (this and that intersection).’
Honestly all it sounds like you need to do is a bit of local recon to get places on grip, which involves going out for drinks dolo and checking the spot out; lots of fun research involved
As for having material in your head, I’m mostly against it. One of the best pieces of game advice I’ve ever heard is to not so much rely on scripted lines and routines, but just to have something to say when something needs to be said.
You don’t need a default routine for every girl after the opener, but if you catch a girl getting all up in your proximity, you should have something to say. When this happens to me its usually observational, such as last week when this cute dark-haired girl was doing a close-stand to me in checkout; I asked her what kind of flower that was on her shirt (I knew it was a daffodil because I’m a nerd), and it led to a 5 minute convo and a number swap.
Planning fun dates has never been hard for me; just do what you want to do and bring them along. I’ve gotten laid after taking girls on walking dates where the only money was spent on a popsicle. Anything you normally do (walking, shopping, poking around the city, even going ot a friend’s house to play video games) can be an effective date if you make it fun for her.
The best date ever though has to be the theme park, the flake odds are non-existent and its like twenty dates in one. The type of girl who flakes on going to the theme park is not the type of girl you want anyways.
No theme parks close by, unless I’m taking a road trip. Which would seem odd to do with a chick real early on, but you never know….
Yeah, dates aren’t hard, I’ve just been lazy and haven’t thought things threw. I think in terms of right now instead of looking a bit into the future.
Like I think, I should call what’s ner name.. I haven’t hit her up since I got the number…
Then, I’ll call her, and the conversations going well and she drops hints about wanting to see me, so I’ll come up witha day to hang out.. without any inkling of an idea of what to do… so, then we set a tentative day to do something, but no real plans. Then when I text them the day of with the plans… its too high of a chance to flake.
It’s just not coming off right.. I don’t think.
Definitely need to work on that…
I just need to better prepare myself. And I know this. It’s the biggest thing hurting my game right now… not thinking or planning ahead…
Some degree of preparation is key no doubt, but looking back, the girls I ended up banging were almost 100% of the girls I took the lead on the situation with.
Her: ‘Where are we going?’
Me: ‘There’s a place nearby that I’ve been meaning to check out. I’ll take you there.’
Her: ‘*Tingling sound*’
Her: ‘Where are we going?’
Me: ‘I need to go shopping for some fresh gear. You can help me pick stuff out’
Her: ‘OMFGGGG! I LOOOOVE SHOPPING!!111!11!1!1!!1!! *Tingling sound*’
Sucks about the theme park; I’m lucky to live 20 minuites away from one, and it’s usually where I take girls on a third date.
But the idea isn’t just exclusive to a theme park. You can compress dates in a number of places. The city is huge; in one day you can hit the bar, the museum, the waterfront and then the show, BAM! Four dates in one.
Another good one is the shopping, as mentioned. There’s a very cool mall nearby with go-karts, mini putt and laser tag innit that I’ve been known to use.
Just make sure she isn’t leading you around by the nose, keep the atmosphere flirty and of course, chat with other girls while she’s trying stuff on
That’s nice that you have a mall around with that kind of shit in it (go-karts, etc). There’s definitely nothing in malls in this city except for clothing stores and a food court. I don’t like the shopping date, every time I’ve been on a shopping date, me and the chick usually wind up fighting. So, it’s definitely something I’d avoid doing with new chicks.
I did a lot of that with Crush, it went over very well. That’s definitely not where I fucked up with her…
I agree with Black Rebel. You should already have a few places in your head that you know will offer a good environment to setting the mood, or just be a jumpoff spot for a drink or two. once she’s there she can’t really walk away without being rude.
Yeah.
I just did some research and some leg work today, found some local neighborhood bars close by and drove around and checked them out and chopped it up with the bartenders and stuff, letting them know I’ll probably be back later in the week.
I got me a couple new first date spots now.
In the business world, CEOs and negotiators spend hours preparing for the next deal, acting out the other side’s roles, and brainstorming responses to common and not-so-common objections. As corny as it sounds, if you had a couple of guys, or even better a girl, to practice with, you’d really be prepared.
It definitely does sound corny, but it does make sense.
But, it does seem almost too corny to partake in… lol
the only other option is to practice in front of a mirror
Here’s a good post from Roissy that I think helps outline what I need to do… http://roissy.wordpress.com/2009/07/20/the-typical-stumbling-blocks-of-a-seduction/
I was going to write a long comment, but most everything has been said well already. Don’t worry about lines and such, just have a few good questions and try to use context when you can.
Always, always have a place in mind when you talk to a girl. Don’t call until you have an idea (or three) as sometimes girls just wont like the first. Write down a list if you have to, but you must be ready right away with multiple options. Shopping is fine, but just make sure *you* lead the girl.
Yeah, I do have to get better at that “leading” shit. Too often I get complacent and just let shit happen.. or not happen…
What about cooking dinner at your place? That’s my standard second or third date.
I’ve actually done that as a second date a couple of times this year, along with watching a movie at my place after dinner. It’s also a date I’ve done a couple of other times back in college.
It actually is a solid 2nd or 3rd date…. I’ll keep that in the repertoire.
My cooking date = I invite girls over and say I’m cooking dinner. They act surprised, “I didn’t know you cook!” Then, they come over and I just make some easy to make shit in a skillet. They laugh and say that’s not really cooking, but they always comment on how good the food is.
I’ve also done hamburgers on the foreman grill too.
I’m not a chef, just a guy, so the point isn’t to actually impress them with my cooking…
It’s a date, I’d rather do after I’m already fucking…. because honestly, the only times I’ve fucked a chick after cooking/movie date was if I was already fucking….
You made a good point at the end there. The problem is that if you don’t get her in the sack when she’s in your house, she knows she now controls you and will push it out even further. Basically, avoid having girls over unless you have a good chance of sex.
I’ve done the simple cooking thing to and it works wonders. I’ll usually make the girl help though. Plus its fun to mess up and let them take over.
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